I owe you an appology

I’ve failed again. And this time I let you down.

I’ve always thought of myself as an optimistic person.

I was a kid with big ideas
Set goals that we’re way out of my league
hit some of them anyway.

I’ve been able to build some pretty cool things.
Led teams, tried to be a good boss.
I aimed to empower others to feel stronger
and leave better than they did walking in.

I believe in food that actually gives back.
Not ego. Not trends.
Real “ah ha!” moments that change how you think about food and eating.

And yeah… I’ve had my demons.
Sometimes I handled them like a pro.
Sometimes they handled me.

This is one of those times.

Lately, I’ve been letting life pin me down.
Barely fighting forward, struggling to build anything.
Just staring at the walls closing in.

Everything feels harder than it should.
Like trying to climb a mountain made of vaseline.

And instead of shifting my perspective…
I’ve been feeding it.

That’s on me.
I owe you more than that.

I know better.

I never wanted the big house, ten cars version of “success.”
I wanted freedom.
Health.
People around me who actually give a shit.
Enough money to breathe—and help someone else breathe too.

I worked my ass off chasing “success.”
What I learned is simple:

If you don’t have the right people,
and you don’t stop to smell the roses along the way,
no matter how hard you push,
you can still end up empty.

That part is very real for me.

But here’s what hit me harder—

I said the other day I didn’t know if I had anything left.

And a bunch of you—people I don’t even know—reached out.

Messages. Support. Gratitude.

That shook me.

Because while I can’t pay my bills with that…
I also can’t ignore it.

There’s something there.

And if I’m being honest…
maybe the problem isn’t that I have nothing left to give.

Maybe it’s that I’ve been looking at everything through the wrong lens.

I’ve been showing you the weight…
without showing you how I’m trying to lift it.

That’s not who I want to be.

I’m still in this.
Still figuring it out.
Still getting my ass kicked most days.

But I’m not done.

Not even close.
If I can help it

So if you’ve been feeling the same way—
stuck, overwhelmed, like everything is closing in—

you’re not broken.

You’re just in it.
the roller coaster of life.

And maybe the next move isn’t some massive life overhaul.

Maybe it’s just this:

Look at the same situation…
and choose a different angle.

I’m working on that.

And if I’m going to keep showing up here—
I owe you the full picture.

Not just the struggle.

The fight too.

Thank you all for being here.

You have been the greatest support system I have ever had.

I hope I can show up better for you as we move forward,
I’ll be rooting for you and remembering every time I want to crawl inside a hole,
I’ve got the power of people on my side.

Give yourself credit, I’m your biggest fan.

Much LUV
Matthew

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